Some of the “bad” things that happen to hardworking, well-meaning, capable people each day include: 

• Missing the big opportunity
• Getting passed over for a promotion
• Getting demoted
• Losing a lot of money
• Getting fired
• Going bankrupt

What happens to us when our worst career nightmares come true?

There may not be scandalous headlines in the local papers, but with the emotional turmoil you’re experiencing, there may as well be.

Career-altering events can happen to anyone — and they do. But when they happen to us, they seem incomprehensible, largely because we’ve worked so hard to be nice, dedicated and well-meaning.

But even when we can partially blame the economy, there comes a time when we must take a hard look at what we could have done differently. Despite faltering companies, imperfect leaders, coworkers who don’t like us and other external variables, we must eventually engage in private, honest  introspection. It’s time to ask: What part did I play in the events leading up to the career crisis?

Defining Mojo

Historically and culturally, the word “mojo” has been associated with witchcraft and voodoo—specifically, the ability to cast spells. Over the years, it has become urban slang for personal power, magnetism and charisma.

In business speak today, mojo refers to the moment we do something purposeful and powerful — an act lauded by others. In sports, business and politics, the term has evolved to describe a sense of positive direction.

For some, mojo represents personal advancement: moving forward, making progress, achieving goals, clearing hurdles, passing the competition — and doing so with increasing ease. What you’re doing matters, and you enjoy it. Star athletes call this being “in the zone.” Others describe it as “flow.”

Mojo plays a vital role in our pursuit of happiness and meaning, as it involves achieving two simple goals: loving what you do and showing it.

Lost Mojo

In Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back If You Lose It, leadership expert Marshall Goldsmith introduces the term “nojo” — the opposite of mojo.

Nojo sufferers approach their work negatively. They’re bored, frustrated, dispirited and confused about the dark tunnel that envelops their career — and they aren’t shy about sharing their dissatisfaction with others.

Nojo happens when we experience a career failure and don’t get over it. Individuals who are incapable of looking inward to identify their role in a negative event get stuck — and stay stuck. As their spirit sours, they find themselves unable to recapture their mojo.

In some cases, people seem to have mojo one day and nojo the next. This volatility is often caused by a series of ongoing, hard-to-spot mistakes that in time lead to a crisis. If we can recognise our errors early, we can prevent events from spiralling out of control.

Common Career Mistakes

Goldsmith lists seven professional mistakes that contribute to career failures in otherwise competent, successful and smart people:

1. Over-committing
2. Waiting for the Facts to Change
3. Looking for Logic in All the Wrong Places
4. Bashing the Boss
5. Refusing to Change Because of “Sunk Costs”
6. Confusing the Mode You’re in
7. Maintaining Pointless Arguments

As you examine these potential pitfalls, try to pinpoint the ones to which you’re predisposed.  

1.   Over-committing

If you’re good at what you do and like your job, it’s easy to take on new challenges. You’re bursting with mojo. People want you in their meetings and on their teams.

The old adage, “If you want something done, just ask a busy person,” may apply to you. And if you’re ambitious, the last thing you want to admit to your boss or coworkers is that you can’t handle everything.

If you believe you have superpowers, you will box yourself into a corner by taking on too many tasks. At that point, the quality of work and good humour will begin to fail, and you’ll lose your mojo (and possibly much more).

Ironically, the habit of over-committing has an unintended consequence: It makes us appear under-committed — a perception rarely appreciated by customers, colleagues or bosses.

2.       Waiting for the Facts to Change

When we experience a setback, it’s not uncommon for us to wait for the facts to change into something more to our liking. Such wishful thinking is the opposite of over-committing, as it leads to under-acting. Instead of doing something, you freeze and do nothing.

When the facts are hard to swallow, ask yourself: “What path would I take if I knew the situation won’t get any better?” Then, get ready to pursue that path.

Doing nothing is akin to moving backward — a behaviour you cannot afford in a constantly changing world.

3.       Looking for Logic in All the Wrong Places

We devote many professional hours to finding logic in situations where none exists.

Human beings are profoundly illogical. Our minds crave order, fairness and justice, and we’re trained to value logic. But much of life, work and decisions that affect us are unreasonable, unfair or unjust, which sets us up for disappointment and can kill mojo.

We sometimes hope logic will prevail against all odds and that it will prove we’re in the right. If we capriciously stick to our guns until the bitter end, everyone will see how right we are. In the meantime, we seriously damage important relationships.

4.       Bashing the Boss

Talent-management firm DDI found that the average American spends 15 hours a month criticising or complaining about his or her boss. Indeed, boss-bashing is a popular diversion.

But while it may relieve tension and get a few laughs, denigrating your boss is not particularly attractive. Other people will wonder what you’ll say about them when they’re not around.

Bashing doesn’t build a better boss. It only serves to tarnish your reputation and lower your mojo. The negativity you spread will almost certainly affect others’ mojo, too.

5.       Refusing to Change Because of “Sunk Cost”

Once incurred, a sunk cost cannot be recovered. Unfortunately, it’s also the basis for many irrational decisions that go against our best interest. When we throw more money at a problem and hope for different results, we compound the error — all because we cannot admit our error.

Each of us has sunk costs in our lives. We didn’t become successful because of luck; rather, we had to invest a big piece of ourselves in our work. At some point, this investment may have stopped paying off, without our awareness.

Are your decisions based on what you might lose or what you have to gain? It it’s the former, your devotion to sunk costs may be costing you more than you know: your mojo.

6.       Confusing the Mode You’re in

We have two modes of behaviour: professional and relaxed. Our professional selves are image-conscious. We pay attention to how we look, dress, speak and behave. We can’t afford to be sloppy.

In relaxed mode, some of us go to opposite extremes. We’re less guarded about everything, including our speech, language and use of humour.

So, what happens when we’re in relaxed mode, but still in the company of work colleagues and friends? Are we sarcastic and cynical in ways inappropriate to the office setting?

The more you close the gap between who you are as a professional and who you are when relaxed, the greater the trust and confidence you’ll generate. You’ll demonstrate genuineness and integrity, and you’ll avoid slipping into sloppiness with humour and language, which can put a dent in your mojo.

7.       Maintaining Pointless Arguments

Arguing happens anytime you put a group of intelligent, successful people into a room and give them a problem to solve. It also happens simply because people have egos, and it’s human nature to compete with other members of the tribe.

Arguing can put our mojo at risk by needlessly creating enemies instead of allies. Many arguments are traps in which we fight to improve our status among the tribe, rather than to solve a problem for the greater good.

Learn to avoid the following argument traps that do nothing more than zap your spirit:

• Let me keep talking: Everyone has opinions and enjoys expressing them. In fact, we feel it’s our right to do so. Sometimes, however, we just can’t stop; we have to have the last word. It can be very hard for smart people to “just let it go.”
• I had it rougher than you: When we revel in how poor we were and how much we had to overcome to achieve our current station in life, all we’re doing is trying to elicit other people’s admiration. What’s the point?
• Why did you do that? We’ll never know people’s true motivations. We can speculate with generosity or paranoia, but we never may get a completely frank answer. Why waste hours trying to get to the bottom of why people do things? It will only exhaust your mojo.
• It’s not fair: You disagree with a decision that has been made. Worse, you believe you haven’t been given a legitimate explanation. Arguing won’t change the outcome and makes you look childish. Deal with it. Save your precious mojo.

These four “losing” arguments have the same end result: no change in outcome. Look for ways to make your point, and then move on, with your mojo intact.

Mojo Recuperation

What can you do when you recognise these behaviours in yourself?

It’s easy to tell yourself that you I’ll stop doing that. But it’s harder to maintain progress whenever you seek lasting behaviour change.

Someone once asked Goldsmith, “Does anyone ever really change?” After surveying 86,000 former clients and, later on, more than 250,000 respondents from his leadership development seminars, his conclusion is unequivocal:

“Very few people achieve positive, lasting change without ongoing follow-up. Unless they know at the end of the day (or week or month) that someone is going to measure if they’re doing what they promised to do, most people fall prey to inertia.”

The key words in Goldsmith’s statement are “measure” and “follow-up.” Because very few people can succeed alone with self-help efforts, many seek assistance from a mentor or executive coach.

Remember that your competition continually responds to a changing business environment by working longer and harder. This means mojo is not an option; it’s a career differentiator. You need it to separate yourself from the masses — and your personal spirit will ultimately thank you.

Di Worrall (2010)

There are exceptions of course to the mood – Christmas car parking rage and the recent spate of thefts of money from banks and automatic tellers, of presents from under Christmas trees, and of Christmas lighting from our homes.

Another exception to the spirit of generosity is the harrowing story of my sister’s Christmas day experience.  A much loved family pet – her 14 year old black and white cat Toby was cornered and mauled by a pack of dogs in her front yard. Reported as husky-type dogs, they belong to a neighbour who moved into her street several doors down earlier that week. It was several days before the cat was found deceased from its wounds.

…The neighbour was approached by this loss and demonstrated no concern. 

My sister woke at dawn the morning after this bereavement to the same unrestrained, unmuzzled pack of four dogs at her back door attempting to break through into the house through the cat flap where her two remaining cats were hiding in terror. At her own risk, my sister drove the dogs out of her property and onto the street where she found the same neighbour waiting.

…The neighbour showed no concern about what had just occurred.

Further, the neighbour had chosen the cover of dawn to wander up and down the street disposing of her rubbish in neighbours bins as she had no further room in her own bin.  Further reports come in that the unrestrained dogs were attempting to enter the property of another neighbour whose small dog was cowering in their backyard. The police and local council were called.

…The neighbour showed no concern .

After exhausting the space in her the neighbours bins, the neighbour lit a bonfire in her backyard, complete with a mattress which produced a black, suffocating smoke across her neighbours yards. This time the fire brigade were called.

… Again, the neighbour could not understand what all the fuss was about. 

All of this occuring in the space of under a week.

Are these the actions of someone who is deliberately malevolent? Or is it a gross example of ignorance? An extreme case of someone who lives with the absence of empathy? Some of us do have this characteristic – a near complete inability to comprehend the consequences of our action or inaction on those around us.     

Many of us have new year’s resolutions. It’s a time to reflect on the past year and think about goal-setting for the coming year. While it’s great to have really big goals and dreams, what about the small ones? What a difference we could make if each of us took the resolution to consider – if only once – how our actions or comments might affect someone else and:

• Hold our road rage in just once
• Stand up in the bus or train for someone who looks like they need the seat more than us
• Say hi to that neighbour we’ve never spoken to, next time we see them
• Go out of our way to give a someone a compliment
• Not park in that disabled spot
• Think twice before firing a staff member in 2009 due to “poor economic conditions”.

It’s like that movie with Gwyneth Paltrow - Sliding doors. Our life is a consequence of the decisions we make and the paths we take. What could happen if we made a conscious decision to refrain from our own interests, and instead Love Thy Neighbour in 2009 by speaking or acting in a way which has a positive effect  (or prevents a negative effect) on someone else – if only just once.

Di Worrall is an author, social commentator and change management consultant. For a FREE subscription to the newsletter – Creating a Climate for Change click on the following website  http://www.worrallassociates.com.au/

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While the gig made the headlines here in Australia, what was even more interesting was what happened to Kylie after the event. After an exhausting show, she changed from her uncomfortable performance outfits into a tracksuit and headed back into the same hotel for the after party bash.

A funny thing happened. The doorman didn’t recognise her and didn’t approve of the tracksuit and so wouldn’t let her in!

What did the exhausted Kylie do with this outrage? Not what you would typically expect of an “A” list performer, nor what you would expect of most other people.  I imagine she was frustrated and a little insulted. However, she didn’t draw upon the inner diva, didn’t kick up  a stink for all the media to see and didn’t have a raging “hissy fit”. Instead she, together with her assistants  swallowed her pride, gathered her good humour and integrity and graciously negotiated a resolution to the misunderstanding.        

Now that’s a nice change.

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Some quick research into the red carpet phenomenon takes us beyond movie premiers and back to 485BC and Aeschylus, a Greek playright. Aeschylus created a character called Agenemon whose wife deceives him into walking onto red carpet which was intended for the gods.  Fast forward to the 1820s and we see the red carpet rolled out for a US President and in 1902 red carpet is used in ceremonial fashion to welcome guests to a classy train journey.

It’s interesting to see how the “red carpet” treatment evolved from our respect and reverence for “the gods”, to dignitaries and rulers, to ceremony and now to celebrity. Inviting someone to the red carpet is like placing them on a pedestal above the ordinary citizen for a period of time, to acknowledge and perhaps celebrate their leadership or achievement in a particular field (notwithstanding Australia’s pedestals which are more often than not used as a national pastime to shoot people off and bring them down to size).

It seems to me that the red carpet is changing again.

Is the bar being raised? It wasn’t long ago that our red carpet standards seemed to be quite different. Britain’s Sir Winston Churchill was regarded as a formidable prime minister during world war II,  yet he was previously sacked from the military for incompetence, and is known to have arrived drunk while serving in his political office.   Today, we not only send our leaders in business, politics or governance to post graduate education to earn the right to assume positions of leadership, we are now more often punishing them for incompetence or breaches of our trust and integrity. We have also created the expectation that celebrity status automatically equates with a leadership position on issues of national or global importance. 

Perhaps these trends are because our standards are rising and perhaps it is also because the media and the internet have given us a new access to probe and judge our leaders and celebrities lives.   

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A couple of weeks ago, a Sydney family accused a hotel bistro of planting “poo” in their ice-cream after the family had lodged various previous complaints about service. The offending item wasn’t placed into the ice-cream dish in an obvious fashion. It was so discretely placed that it apparently appeared to be an inconspicuous chocolate scoop nestled innocently amongst several other flavours. The item was so well camouflaged, that is was allegedly tasted by a member of the slighted family, so the disgust factor for the public definitely goes up several notches.

Just to get the context right here, preliminary DNA tests have identified the offending item officially as human “poo” which was sufficient to land the family some form of financial compensation in settlement of the issue. While i am hoping that more specific details will emerge following health department investigations, what is interesting about the story is the “poo” people can dig themselves into when they fail to take responsibility for their actions, including:

• Both the family and the hotel staff were motivated about stating and preserving their rights, rather than by calmly resolving whichever initial dispute which led to the incident. 
• Initially the hotel denied any wrongdoing (although has since demonstrated a keen and thorough sense of responsibility)
• The family took the matter out for public sympathy and invited a barrage of public criticism
• The incident appears to be an extreme example of passive-aggressive vengeance, not to mention disdain for the health of other human beings.

I for one sit with bated breath hoping to hear more specific results about whose DNA the offending item belongs to. Not to point the finger, but in the hope that the whole incident is a lesson to everyone of the potential spiralling consequences of the blame game and failing to take personal responsibility for our actions.